Body Weight

If you've ever worried about your weight, you're in the right place. All girls worry about their weight at one point or another. 


Common Excuses:

• I'm big boned!
• I eat and eat, and never gain any weight!
• My parents are fat!
• I'm just muscular!
• Water weight!
• I'm injured! I can't exercise!
• But I like food!

Bull. Shit.

Don't make yourself throw up because you're too fat; don't eat seven quarts of icecream because you're too skinny. There are other ways of bulking up and stripping down. 

FAT PEOPLE:

Guess what? She's not skinny on the inside either.

Dear fat people:

I was once one of you; in fact, I look in the mirror every day and think I am one of you. When I was fat, I would eat more because I thought, "I'm always going to be fat. :( " I would just eat and eat. It made me feel better about myself. And then I'd go to the doctors and they'd tell me I gained twenty pounds and I'd be like WHAT?! But... But I was... Oh wait. Yeah. I was eating like a fatass every day. And if you want to eat like a fatass, go for it. I say full steam ahead! There's nothing cuter than clogged arteries and heart disease. 

I have a note for you: if you're going to eat as much as you want, whenever you want, save it for when you're older. Children think fat grandparents are cute. Hell, even I think fat grandparents are cute. And when you're in your 70s, you're almost at death's door anyways. A little extra meat on your bones will just speed up the process a bit.

But seriously, fat people. I know it's not always your fault. I was stuck with the genetics route too. My doctor checked for thyroid problems, which can apparently cause you to gain weight uncontrollably. 

Then, I got off my ass and I got into the game. I'd eat breakfast: Maybe make a few pieces of toast-- but then I'd stop when the hunger went away. Just like that. And I'd put the toast away for later. And then when it was later, I'd eat the toast. But only until the hunger went away. And then put it away for later.

I also got into the habit of running laps in the yard spontaneously. 

I was that person. But then I climbed trees. And brought books into trees with me. I was a goddamned TREE CLIMBING BOOK READING MANIAC.

And then I forgot about food. I mean, not really. I still ate food. I just didn't think about it all the time. My stomach would grumble, I'd have like a half a slice of toast, then resume my yard running tree climbing bonanza.

SKINNY PEOPLE:

I'm not sure she can fit a heart in that body.

Hey you. Yeah, you.  Skinny girl. Tired of your size 000 jeans and your model body?


So am I. I tease you girls about your teeny boobies and secretly wish I could fit into a size 0 dress. I call all skinny girls whores. I don't know why.

It's probably because to me, skinny=sexy. But as I read in a Teen Girl magazine once, a very long time ago, even SKINNY GIRLS HAVE PROBLEMS.

That's right! That itty bitty blonde in your gym class with the runway legs? She has problems too! 

I guess a big problem with being a rail stick is that you have no boobs.

Well, skinny girls: I have no sympathy. I am nowhere close to a skinny girl, and I don't have boobs either.

So obviously boobs aren't your biggest problem.

Then what is it? I guess finding clothes are hard sometimes. And playing sports. There was a girl in my gym class that I thought if I knocked into would snap in half. 

The girl in the magazine's problem was that she couldn't borrow any of her friends' clothes. 

Well, girl: I CAN'T EITHER. I'm not a size 000. My rib cage isn't the size of a coffee tin. I can't even squeeze my way into size 2 jeans. 

If you got it, flaunt it. I know that with skinny girls, muscle tone is an issue. SO DO SOME PUSHUPS. 

Lift some weights. 

You could even clean your shoe closet. That's exercise. It could tone you.