Thursday, September 30, 2010

Face Shapes

If you're like me, you were born with a wonky shaped face. Mine's like a squaroundish oval?




Here are some basic face shapes.




ROUND
If you've got a round face, you probably imagine that you look fat. While a lot of the time round faces DO make you look fat, it's not true. When I smile my fat pushes my eyes up and I look asian. Nothing against asians, but I am not one. So I shouldn't look like one. 

EXAMPLES:


See? Kirsten Dunst has a round face.

So does Kelly Clarkson

Believe it or not, Cameron Diaz has one too. At least in this picture.
SQUARE




You've got a big old man jaw. Your cheeks might even end in points. If you lay your chin along the table, it lays flat. It looks like someone put a box over your head then painted it. 


EXAMPLES:


Bones has got square bones!

As well as Paris Hilton

And the gorgeous Olivia Wilde from House



OVAL


If you have an oval face, why are you here?! The rest of your face must be really ugly, because the most sought after face shape is an oval. It's twice as long as it is wide and is supposed to be symmetrical on both sides. 


EXAMPLES:


Jessica Alba has a perfectly proportioned face.

Besides the awful plastic surgery, her face shape is flawless.

Beyoncé's got an oval face.
HEART


The heart shaped face is the face of the cutie-pies. You've got a pointed chin that could stab through a wall; if you dipped your face in paint and smacked it against the wall, it would be a very long, narrow, politically incorrect heart.

EXAMPLES:

Reese Witherspoon, the classic cutie with a heart shaped face.

If you can tear your eyes away from her HUMONGOUS boobs, she has a heart shaped face.
She's also got very perky members. Above that, is a heart shaped face.

DIAMOND:

I'm going to be honest here. I've never seen anyone with a fucking diamond face.

Honestly, if someone tells you you have a diamond shaped face, you should punch them. Nobody looks like this. Nobody.

You probably have a mix between a round face and an oval one. 

Mixes are also possible.

My face is, as I said, squaroundish. 

So if your face shape isn't up there, it's because it's not normal. But don't worry your ugly little head about it; there are things that can conceal your unfortunately misshapen face.







28 comments:

  1. You forgot oblong. That's my face shape. It's the worst.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No, your face shape is not the worst. It's as beautiful as other face shapes. Plus, it's really rare so you're lucky to have one.

      Delete
    2. Like Angelina Jolie?. Yes, really ugly. :)

      Delete
  2. well what the hell are those things that can conceal an ugly face?? regards, ugly-face xxx

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  3. You're so stuck up and mean. All face shapes are beautiful. I have an oval face and I've seen beautiful people with oval face. Oh, and you forgot oblong but that doesn't mean it's not normal. It's just rare and beautiful but not more or less beautiful than other face shapes.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's just a joking blog. It's not serious u need to learn how to take things without getting your feeling hurt and making a big deal about it.

      Delete
    2. LOL "Everyone is beautiful in their own way" NOT. Face it- NOT everyone can be a beautiful as Beyonce. Get over it

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    3. Christina Taw is right. I'm a square and this blog made me feel really hurt. I'm glad that everyone in my life helps me feel beautiful.
      Oh and as for "It looks like someone put a box over your head then painted it" My lips are full, wavy brown hair, big blue eyes. Since most people I see don't look like that, my looks are unique.
      Everyone is beautiful in their own way. If you meet someone and maybe they don't have an aesthetically pleasing face, they're unique. Most people don't look like that and people all have different ideas of beauty. I love having a square face because it accentuates my smile and makes it seem bigger and brighter.
      Besides, nobody is pretty if they are rude, like the author of this blog. If there was a very beautiful person who was rude, nobody would want to hang out with her.
      -Rainy

      Delete
  4. This is hilarious. I have an ugly little pixie heart shaped face and my features are all squashed up like a troll... yet somehow I have managed to get boyfriends and stuff. Go me.

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  5. I've got an oblong diamond face

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  6. Diamond does exist and I have one. And tbh I have rarely seen it in men (I am one and no I won't share pic :P). Most of the articles online misguide about this shape.

    It is simply a wide pair of cheekbones and I mean widest than anything else on the face, a slim jawline (not the sharp edgy jaw).

    And what makes it diamond is a head slightly slimmer than cheekbones.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I was going to write that! Haha, my face is oval-ish, but I have seen people with a diamond face shape, it's usually described wrong, which gives people the wrong idea.

      Delete
    2. I was going to write that! Haha, my face is oval-ish, but I have seen people with a diamond face shape, it's usually described wrong, which gives people the wrong idea.

      Delete
    3. I have the most beautiful round face and great boobs. Sucks to be you and your not very funny sarcastic take on a systemic conditioning of women in beauty.

      Delete
  7. My face is shaped like a freaking PENTAGON.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LMAO, MY FRIEND TOLD ME THAT A WEEK AGO XD

      Delete
  8. My face is very ungly Something like heptagon with a very wide cheekbones, jawline is nearly equal to the cheek bone. not square for sure coz ceek doesn't end at points, not square for sure because of the slightly slimmer head, oval can't be like this, heart?? Haha no chance!! But whatever it may be I look ugliest in the world. All of my friends (ah! They never even talked to me, how can they be my friends ) looks amazing!! God has created this antique piece and send me to the world of beauties all around a d to face them everyday. I don't mind to be ugly though coz I really don't need a boyfriend haha xD never had and don't want in future

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They call your face shape a triangular face or known as pear, or in the case of my boyfriend an eggplant shaped face. :p

      Delete
  9. And I'm just chilling here with a rectangle for a face XD

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  10. Honestly in downtown Los Angeles I saw a lady who has a diamond shape head first off it completely complements the shape of the face , from what I saw once visiting there , she had light mixed eyes almost if they were green , but a grayish bluish greenish color, pale skin almond shaped eyes deep eye socket nice high forehead strawberry blonde hair nice lips not to pouty and a straight pointy nose narrow jaw line high cheekbones in the mid section, how come it isn't possible or real , bullshit it's real, and you'll stare and gawk lmmfao. ..I'm dead ass serious ,it's amazing what you come across these days ,

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  11. My mum has a diamond shaped face. Mine is rounded square,with dimples. I'm not ugly.... Angelina Jolie's face is square/oblong...and she is not ugly either.

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  12. I have a long oval face shape and i am guy

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  13. Halle berry has a dimond shape face

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  14. Just know anonymous is never really anonymous, so maybe you should be nicer to people online because one day you will get yourself in trouble.

    ReplyDelete
  15. I have the most beautiful round face and great boobs. Sucks to be you and your not very funny sarcastic take on a systemic conditioning of women in beauty.

    Reply

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  16. lmao i clicked on it because it told me i was oogleh. and obviously its accurate

    ReplyDelete
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